Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
