the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize