marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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