shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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