I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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