so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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