I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
