Do vagina's smell?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
