I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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