I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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