theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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