dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize