Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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