i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
