oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize