I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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