Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
