When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
