What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
my being single is dangerous.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
