worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
