The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
