dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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