Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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