what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
