If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
