oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
