How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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