You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
There's always time for handjobs
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
