I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
