I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize