im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
