I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
