I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize