I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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