I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
