based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
