Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
