yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
