He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
