FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
