john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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