I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
