she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
vagina is talking i cant
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
