I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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