my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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