i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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