I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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