I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
