i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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