I think I died a long time ago.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize