It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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