Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
