Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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