U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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