I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
