i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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