My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
