Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
