I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize