New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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