I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
my liver is dry heaving
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
