Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
