Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
