Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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