I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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