it hurts more in the daytime
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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