This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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