remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
