I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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