i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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