So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Non-Jews are for practice
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
