Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
