It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
