And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
