he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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