Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
